Henry has been horrible lately. He used to be my friend but for a few weeks he has done everything in his power to hurt me, to make me better. He tells me the truth when no one else will. He tells me when people hate me. He tells me when I've done the wrong thing. It's not his fault that he has to talk so much. He has to tell me because no one else will.
I don't understand all the things I'm supposed to. I was always told I had Potential and then, after a few years, I was told that I was wasting this Potential. Like I was doing it on purpose. That I had somehow found this mythical, capital lettered Potential and was dilly-dallying it out for my own unknown purposes.
I can't concentrate. None of my friends need me anymore. No one needs me. All those years of telling myself that I can't kill myself because people need me are almost over. I might be free soon. I don't see why it should matter to me anyway but it does. I mean if you look at it properly, I only need to deal with the guilt until I'm dead. Then nothing will matter anymore.
I used to feel the same way. I still feel that way, but it's not as powerful. You may not think that people don't need you, but you would be surprised by how many people depend on you. I sure as hell was. I'm sorry I'm shit with attempting to make people feel better. It's just one of my many failures. I can tell you this, though. Life is a bitch. You occasionally have to look for the positives in life, and don't bypass the small things. Honestly, the smallest things can make a world of difference in being happy or not. Sorry for rambling. Just know people care for you, even if you can't see it.
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