Henry Says: You're Afraid

The most terrifying thing about looking for monsters under your bed is the possibility that one will be there. Fear follows me like a shadow. I am always afraid. Of spiders and the dark. That people don't need me. That life will lose the tiny bits of meaning that keep me here and that the world will no longer want me here.
When you're looking for something that frightens you you don't usually expect it to actually be there. You check the corners for spiders, under the bed for monsters and turn the light on when you hear a noise. It's not really because you think something is there but to reassure yourself that it was nothing, that the night makes noises.
But what if we turned on the light and there was someone there? What if there really was a monster when we check under the bed. Why check at all when the possibility of something being there is worse than the thought of it.

In reality, there can be a spider in my house as long as I can't see it.